don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
There r osticjed everywhere
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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