so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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