I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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