have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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