It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
