I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
