Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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