One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
