nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
