I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
