so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
