I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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