We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
