Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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