Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
