I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
