you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
