Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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