WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I didn't notice because vodka
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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