sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
