her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
