I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
