when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so let's talk penis.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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