Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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