Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
In America we eat man semen.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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