apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
