my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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