Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
