Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
