What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
