Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
