so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
