Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
