Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
