just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
