You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
