That's intense
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
