I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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