I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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