So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
