I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
