I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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