making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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