so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
