My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
