don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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