i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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