so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
last night I used snow as a chaser
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
