My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
