I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
