It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I don't deserve a penis
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
