It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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