I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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