there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
