Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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