Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
