Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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