he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I have fence marks all over my body
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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