That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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