Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
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