hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize